I'm really nitpicky when it comes to my favorite books– call it my way of keeping a grip on reality and avoiding turning into a complete fangirl ;). Here are some errors and mind-blowing moments I noticed as I read the Artemis Fowl books. See if you noticed them or have an explaination; I would love to hear back! In fact, I want to hear back: please FEEL FREE to correct the ignorant American homeschooler. Please.
Here there be spoilers. Tresspass at your own risk.
Serisously, be careful. I accidentally read the ending to The Last Guardian on Artemis' page when I was still on The Time Paradox. [Funny story there: I got the books from Amazon, but ended up with the graphic novel version of The Arctic Incident and a late Time Paradox, the latter I skipped, thinking it would only confuse me more. That was a mistake!] I still cried at the end of The Last Guardian, but not as much as I would have had I not been forewarned. Be careful, guys!
A Brief Recap (In Case You Don't Remember Which Books are Which)
Artemis Fowl—The book where all that is gold does not glitter.
Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident— The book with the pathetic excuse for a Macbeth quote, and the worst Much Ado About Nothing pun in history.
Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code— The book where they finally figure out that Artemis is a girl's name (it took you this long?).
Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception— The one where we have a kill-off!!!!
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony— The one with the European child genius named after a goddess who decides to kidnap a fairy. But this time it's a blonde French girl named Minerva. But don't worry, she dissappears into the plothole after this book (may her soul rest in peace).
Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox— The book that surprisingly makes sense, as the title is The Time Paradox.
Artemis Fowl: The Atlantic Complex— The one where we all laughed at Artemis, but then felt bad about it later.
Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian— The one that started out with inkblots, was saved by Myles and Beckett, and had an ending similar to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, except more confusing.
In book one, Artemis Fowl, Artemis is clearly described with dark-blue-almost-black eyes. Then in the rest of the books, he is descrbed with icy blue eyes. I guess he turned into Asa Butterfield.. ;)
Also, was it ever confirmed which eye was the one he switched with Holly in The Lost Colony, his left or right? Ditto for Holly, if anyone knows.
Graphic Novel Character Design Inconsistencies
- sigh* here we go.
First thing's first: Artemis does not always wear a suit. Yes, he looks like James Bond in it, enhancing his awesomeness. But in the first chapter of Artemis Fowl it clearly stated he was wearing a white polo. Not exactly as boss as a tux, but I'd appreciate it if the design was accurate. Kudos for making Artemis look like a boss, though, even if he does have woolly bear caterpillars for eyebrows.
Next, Holly. She has dark skin in the books. Why can't anyone other than the fans get that right? First she was paler than Artemis on the back cover of Artemis Fowl, now this. Aside from that she's not too bad, though I question why her ears are so big? Oh well.
Why is Butler's head so small? Anyone?
Opal is ginger. She wasn't ginger in the books. She had dark hair and dark eyes. And I'm pretty sure that in the books she had pupils. Just saying.
FOALY IS BLUE. WHY IS FOALY BLUE? Seriously, was he blue in the origional books? I didn't pick up on that, so when I opened The Graphic Novel I was confused.
Mulch kinda looks like a groundhog... purposeful? I think so.
In Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox, Foaly and Opal kept talking about cloning a female lemur from Jayjay's DNA to save the species. Unfortunately, they never brought up one major flaw: CLONING DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT IN THE AF UNIVERSE. I'm sorry, but this bothered me a lot! This is a major plot thread that not only didn't make sense in context, and was also never brought up again after the book ended.
I was disappointed with this error. The time paradox science made sense. The quantum physics made sense (at least to someone who has no idea what they were talking about, but wanted to learn). This did not.
The Orion Story (and other Mythology Errors)
Seriously, I think I learned more accurate stuff from Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and in that series Ares was a motorcycle gangster. Artemis told Holly and Foaly that Orion in Greek mythology was the enemy of the goddess Artemis. However, according to my sources, um... It was Apollo that didn't like Orion. Orion and Artemis were actually lovers. Apollo got Orion killed (either by setting a scorpion on him or tricking Artemis into shooting him, depending on what story you read). Artemis was upset, so Zues hung Orion's body in the stars and he became a constellation (which somehow made it all better??). Wierd.
Also, I've looked up the name Artemis on several websites, and most of them agree that it does not mean hunter. It comes from the Greek word artemes, meaning "safe." I'm not kidding, here's a link.
The Last Guardian in General
What was up with this book? I loved it, but it didn't make much sense when you get down to it.
First of all, why was it called The Last Guardian? I don't think they said the word guardian once in that entire inch-thick book. It's a clichéd end-of-series-drama title with no reason for it. Who was the last guardian? What were they guarding? Is it up to fan interpretation, because that usually doen't end well unless you're Ernest Hemmingway.
Next, can someone explain the timeline split thing better that Artemis did? Usually his lectures make sense to me, but I was just lost. After the time-travel stuff from The Time Paradox that make more sense than Star Trek, I was disappointed at my confusion. I don't understand.
Third, what was that ending? It wasn't so confusing that I can't live with it, but it ended right, well, before the ending! Does Artemis get his memories back? How the heck do they explain this to everybody else? (I can just picture the conversation with Angeline: Yeah, you know how your son was dead and we buried him six months ago? Well, we cloned him and put his soul in the clone's body. Except he might not know who you are. Just so you know.) And how did Holly know the opening lines to the first book– as far as she knows, didn't it all start when Artemis kidnapped her?
Previously Considered Errors
Artemis's Birthday (answer courtesy of Storm Firemoth)
Okay, in later books (i.e. The Atlantis Complex) it was made pretty clear that Artemis was born on the first of September (Hogwarts feels anyone?). However, at the end of The Lost Colony, when Artemis was reunited with Butler, he punched in the code to the house, claiming that it was "his own birthday." What was this code? 01-09. I was confused, because I'm an American, and to me that's January Ninth. However, in the UK the date is written differently (day-month-year as opposed to month-day-year). Which begs the question, Why do we Americans have to be so wierd? Ugh.
Things You Never Thought Through Before
In Artemis Fowl, when it was describing Holly, it mentioned that "Cupid was her great-grandfather." This was never brought up again, but it made me wonder: Does this make Holly a demigod? No, I guess not, as she's a magical creature, but still... If you're thinking on Percy Jackson terms, it's kinda funny. That's make Piper her great-great-aunt... wierd.
Speaking of Holly, if, at the end of The Last Guardian she began telling Artemis the story from the beginning of book one, does that mean that... HOLLY WAS NARRATING THE STORY FROM THE BEGINNING?!?! My mind was just blown, anybody else??
Anybody else notice that we have a character named Julius and a character named Juliet, and they shared no connection (in fact, I don't think they ever even met)?
For those of you who are still on the Percy Jackson thing, ever wonder what happened to Minerva? Well, she's a blonde genius, with a single father, and her brother may-or-may-not be ADHD... Think on that.
Interesting Things that the Characters Didn't Pick Up On
In The Arctic Incident, Artemis noted that they had an advantage above the Mafiya who'd abducted his father: they (and I'm paraphrasing here) knew who their enemy was, where he lived, and also had fairy magic. Um... Artemis, you realize that that's exactly the advantage that the LEP had over you last book, and they still lost? Not a pleasant thought, I know. I'm just saying...
When Artemis had Atlantis Complex, he was afraid of the number four, and for good reason. Go back through the Artemis Fow series and recall what happened in every chapter numbered Four. In the first book you will see that in chapter four, Holly was abducted by a certain Mud Boy and the game began. In The Opal Deception, book four, the first death of a major character occured. The page number (at least on my copy) of The Atlantis Complex in which Orion appears ends in four. And if you want to go out-of-universe on this one: Remember what happened in the fourth book of Harry Potter, Parcy Jackson and the Olympians, and The Spiderwick Chronicles? How many Hunger Games movies are there going to be? Are you frightened yet? I think Artemis was onto something!
Because Artemis went back in time in The Time Paradox and, in encountering his past self, planted in him an interest in fairies, nearly the entire Artemis Fowl serires (excluding Turnball Root's imprisonment and Artemis Sr.'s capture by the Russian Mafiya) is ALL HIS FAULT. (Would the goblin rebellion had happened if it weren't for Artemis? You tell me– I think not, as Cudgeon would have no tragic backstory if not for the Fowl Manor Siege, but that's debateable.) This was never brought up, though I would think it might fuel his Atlantis Complex?
Out-of-universe thing: kudos to the cover artist of The Arctic Incident for making Butler look like Eoin Colfer. Coincidence? I doubt it ;).
Things I Personally Would Have Liked to See
Angeline and Artemis Sr.
I would've liked this plotline to be developed a little more!! Seriously, there were major signs of an adorable romance, but we never saw them interact unless they were arguing or one of them was sick (I swear this isn't an exageration!).
Although I suppose their conversations would be limited to one of five subjects: finances, Angeline's charities, what convention they were going to so as to be conveniently written out of the story, romantic banter, and the ever present question What are we going to do with our psychotic children?
More Macbeth Quotes (This one's just me..)
This was probably just me. I'm a fan of Macbeth. As a super-nerd, I was dissappointed at the serious lack of Macbeth quotes. The closest thing we got was a punny chapter title, "Fowl is Fair." It's something I can live with, but I thought I'd bring it up.
What got to me was that, when Artemis finally did start quoting Shakespeare (The Atlantis Complex), what he says is "To sleep, perchance to dream." This is the most mainstream Shakespeare quote of all time!! Where's your class, Fowl? And maybe while you're at it QUOTE MACBETH! Here are a few starter quotes (the first two I'm headcanonly replacing the Midsummer Night's Dream quote with):
- "Sleep no more, Macbeth has murdered sleep."
- "You lack the nature of all things: sleep."
- ―Lady Macbeth[src]
- "... Something wicked this way comes."
- "I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as to go o'er."
Specifically? I was waiting for him to sing, but I'm sure Artemis is glad he never did. I wonder what he'd sing? I wonder if Artemis/Orion can sing...
Or maybe he'd quote Romeo and Juliet. A little mainstream, but hey, "To sleep, perchance to dream." I can just imagine the interaction:
ORION: "She doth teach the torches to burn bright!"
HOLLY: D'arvit, not you again. Where'd you come from?
ORION: "With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls!"
ORION: Really. *innocent smile*
HOLLY: .... SOMEBODY SHOOT ME NOW!
ORION: "What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and [Holly] is the sun!"
HOLLY: "Take thy face hence!"
ORION: That's not fair, that's a Macbeth quote!
HOLLY: I'm pretty sure I'm quoting Rosaline.
This is just the inner fantasy geek in me, but where were all the dragons? I suppose the answer to this one is Do you want to see Artemis and Holly dead? I still wonder, though.