Mulch Diggums

From Artemis Fowl

Artemis Fowl character
Mulch Diggums
Gender	Male
Eye colour	Brown
Job	Runs Short and Diggums: Private Investigators; past criminal
Species	Dwarf
Family	Nord (cousin)
Aliases	Lance Digger, the Grouch, Mo Digence
First appearance	Artemis Fowl

Note: This page is currently under construction. It's content should not be considered fully accurate until this tag is removed.

Mulch Diggums is a kleptomaniac dwarf that once ran a small business called Short and Diggums: Private Investigators  with Holy Short after he "goes straight", after his long life on the run for his crimes, particularly those regarding thefts. He gave up his magic after entering a human dwelling. He was frequently asked for help when Julius Root was commander, namely the Fowl Manor siege.

Contents 1 Early life 2 Life of Crime 3 Fowl Manor siege 3.1 Escape 4 Life in Los Angeles 4.1 Lady Fei Fei's tiara 4.2 The Grouch 4.3 Capture 4.4 Help in Defeating Koboi 5 Chicago 5.1 Working for the Antonelli's 6 Quotes

[edit] Early life

Not much is known about Mulch Diggums' life. Mulch was born into a typical dwarf cavern-dwelling family. He went to school, but never saw the point of vocabulary class. He used to be a miner, but decided early in life that he didn't like it, wanting to put his talents to other uses, namely, robbing valuable items. He was also known to have been given a chance to be an athlete, a long distance tunneler, but turned down the job for monetary reasons.

[edit] Life of Crime

No fairy could go inside a human dwelling without an invitation. If they did, they would lose all their magic. Mulch didn't mind this; magic wasn't very useful when he was mining, plus, casting spells made him feel sick. So, Mulch went inside the dwelling anyway, and lost his magic, but also gained a valuable item. He continued to do this for a few hundred years. But, one day, he tried to sell the Jules Rimet Cup to an undercover LEP operative. After that, he had been arrested 20 times, being caught more often than he's escaped.Mulch had special abilities for him to escape.

[edit] Fowl Manor siege

Mulch was jailed in LEP Central when some goblin jail-mates, who hated the Dwarf Brotherhood, threatened to throw fire at him. LEP officers arrived just in time to bring him to Commander Root, who had an offer for him. After giving Mulch a blackout suit to prevent burning in the Sun, the officers took Mulch to E1, then to the time-field portal to Fowl Manor, now in a time-field. Root made a deal: If Mulch broke into Fowl Manor, found what Artemis was using to know about the People, and see if captive Holly Short was still alive, Root would take fifty years off Mulch's sentence and put him in a single, low-security cell. Mulch was reluctant at first, but agreed.

After breaking into Fowl Manor, Mulch, with the help of Foaly on the speaker in his ear, found his way through and broke into a safe containing a copy of the Book, shocking him. He took it as Butler came down and saw him. Mulch immediately "ejected" a huge amount of tunnel waste at him, throwing him to the wall and knocking him unconscious. He found his way to the cellar and Holly. Showing her the Book, she realized that they were playing into his hands the whole time. Mulch wanted to free her, but due to the Book's laws, she was forbidden. The LEP expected Mulch to then go tunnelling back outside again, but he had a different plan.

[edit] Escape

Mulch had all along intended to escape during the siege, and he had a plan. After fatally wounding a rabbit while tunnelling, he took off his iris-cam and put it on the rabbit's eye. He knocked dirt off the walls, and screamed "Help!" to make it sound as though there were a cave-in. The rabbit's increasingly speeding heartbeat went to LEP, and thinking it was Mulch's, they thought he was dying. After the rabbit died, and its heartbeat stopped, the iris-cam Mulch put in made Root and the rest of the police think, Mulch was dead. Stealing a part of the ransom fund that Holly had taken back, he dug himself out of the manor and escaped.

[edit] Life in Los Angeles

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The following is from the short story The Seventh Dwarf. Due to its continuity error, the info may not be fully accurate.

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[edit] Lady Fei Fei's tiara

Now that he had successfully escaped and led everyone to believe he was dead, Mulch began to continue subterranean robberies. His new target was Lady Fei Fei's tiara, the tiara belonging to a legendary Chinese diplomat. It was solid gold, and had a bright blue jewel at its center, which was priceless. Learning from ArtyFacts.com that the tiara was being held at the Fleirsheim Museum, he went there to find a fake tiara. Artemis Fowl II revealed himself then, impressed. Mulch realizes it was all just a test. Artemis planted false information on his website to lure Mulch to the tiara. Artemis wanted the diamond on the tiara, but he said that if Mulch cooperated, he could have the rest. Artemis claimed he wanted the diamond for a new laser he was creating. At first, Mulch was reluctant, but Artemis convinced him by threatening to post his existence and whereabouts on the Internet, which would eventually be found by the LEP.

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Seventh Dwarf information ends here.

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[edit] The Grouch

Going under the name Lance Digger, Mulch found a liking to stealing Oscars. Across the country, Oscars were being stolen. The thief (Mulch) began to be known as The Grouch, "another well-known Academy Award." The last academy award he stole was from actress Maggie V, who said, "If the Grouch tries anything in my apartment, he will get a lot more than he bargained for." To Mulch, this "invitation" was irresistible. He managed to steal Maggie's award, but barely escaped with his freedom and possibly his life because of the trap Maggie V had set for him.

[edit] Capture

The night he robbed Academy Award-winning actress Maggie V, Holly Short and Artemis Fowl captured Mulch under the orders of Commander Root. Root was reluctant to let Mulch guide the group's way through Koboi Laboratories, but Mulch would be a valuable asset to the group later.

[edit] Help in Defeating Koboi

After being captured Mulch was given the offer of escaping 2 days before the officer who will apprehend him will start searching for him if he helped Julius, Artemis, Butler and Holly into Koboi Laboratories. Mulch led the team through a small fissure in a chute which only expanded enough before the next flare. They barely escape. After this Mulch leads them through a fake titanium pipe, originally made of sewage to Koboi Laboratories. He encourages Artemis to go through a pipe full of deactivated plasma. Artemis does that and thanks to Foaly, foils Cudgeon's plan to overthrow the goblins then Opal.

[edit] Chicago

[edit] Working for the Antonelli's

Sometime after the B'wa Kell rebellion, Mulch had himself hired by the Antonelli family as a 'monkey'- a person who gets into tight places. Jon Spiro contracted the Antonelli's the job to find and bring back Artemis Fowl to the Spiro Needle, Chicago, Illinois.

[edit] Quotes